Tag Archives: relationship tips

What does your sign say?

repairblackloveI believe everyone should live their lives to the fullest and that means making yourself happy, but unless you want to live life alone, you must be conscience of making room for a significant other. I talked about this topic in an earlier blog called “prepare a place” but I want to take this a step further. It appears that in a quest to arrange our lives in the way that would make us happier, we are (knowingly or unknowingly) blocking out someone special from entering into our lives. For example, just imagine yourself as a piece of property (motel, hotel, apartment or house), with each property having some type of signage that lets you know the level of time commitment expected. You may have a sign outside that says “$39.99 per night with hourly rates available”, while another sign might read “extended stay” or “first month free for one year”. These signs indicate not only the time commitment desired, but also to an extent, the condition the property is in and how it is operated.

I realize that the anticipated significant other may not be currently present, but if the sign on your property reads “closed for business”, then the person will keep it moving and not even stop to inquire. See, if the overarching thought you have about having someone special in your life is “leave me alone” or “don’t bother me”, then that energy creates a force field around you that repels people with good intentions. Notice I said “people with good intentions”, because you must know that people with bad intentions don’t care what your signs say. They don’t want to stay long anyway nor do they care about leaving “a mess” behind for you to clean up. You see, someone that is going to stay for a while is going to take better care of you (your property) like they would their own home. They will try to make improvements and suggest positive changes that can be made with your approval. But someone with no good intent will do just the opposite and leave you (your property) worse than they found you. Now I know you are saying to yourself, “if my sign is saying closed for business, that means closed for business for everyone right?” Well, not exactly, because you have to remember what state of mind (energy) you are in. It is not a state of mind where you are open, loving, welcoming and desiring someone special, it is the opposite.

This state (energy)allows you to be easy preyed a pond by undesirable people because they too don’t want anything lasting or significant. Plus, I don’t have to tell you what happens to a property that is shut down for any extended period of time and the people it attracts. Also, let’s be honest, most people will not totally shut down; meaning they may be open to certain people or certain situations. These people will only offer short term, get over the hump, situations that will not last long. For example, most people rent because they are not able to own a home. But renters are essentially borrowers (have a landlord, maintenance man can come in your place when you are not home, etc.) but someone that buys a home is an owner (no landlord, nobody enters unless the owner authorize, etc.). My point is, too many people are letting themselves be rented out instead of demanding and working for lifetime ownership. Now I understand that sometimes renting may be the best option for a period of time, but there is nothing like having a property you can call your own!!! My suggestion is that you change the sign from “close for business” to “close for repairs” and work on your property in prayer (or meditation) everyday. Before you know it you will be able to turn what was a short-term lease property into a long-term mortgage property.

Read, Recognize, React!!!

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See it before you see it.

love-1Plenty has been said and written about the power of Imagination. There are numerous video’s you can find on the internet that go in depth about using your vision and imagination to turn your dreams into reality. Suffice it to say, we all had dreams that we at one time desired to come true. When they didn’t come true, we perhaps thought it was not in the cards for us to realize that achievement. But what if I told you that you only really need three elements to make any desire manifest in your life. Those three elements are Vision, Focus, and Drive. Of course you obviously have to envision your goal, but furthermore you have to stay Visually Focus on it and Drive toward it every day.
An assistant college football coach asked a reporter that was conducting an interview with him the question, “what is the most important body part a young man needs to catch a football”? Without hesitation (or much thought) the reporter quickly replied “his hands”. The coach, with a devilish grin, sarcastically replied, “Well let me put a blindfold over your eyes and throw this football at you”!
This exchange, obviously exemplifies the statement, “you can’t catch what you can’t see”. This is also true about your goals and dreams. We cannot allow our Vision, in any way, to be altered, blurred, distracted or flat out blinded!!! If you cannot see, you cannot drive (move forward)!!! Our Vision, the foreseeing of the end result and what it will look like, is what keeps us Driven and Focus.
Now, I know this sounds more like a life lesson (and it is), but it is also a relationship lesson. See, if we apply the same principles of Vision, Focus and Drive to our relationship desires, we can accomplish the goals we set to achieve in that area of life too.
1. See (Vision) yourself in that loving relationship; see yourself with someone who is faithful and honest, or whatever traits you want that person to have. Stay Focused on it and Drive it into your head (Mind) that you can and will have it and are worthy of it.

2. Don’t just picture the physical features but also concentrate on things beyond the physical. Traits like love, thoughtfulness, and faithfulness are much more enduring than the physical traits and will be more appreciated and cherished over time.
3. If someone or something comes along and tries to get you out of that belief, get away from them or it as quickly as possible and immediately Focus on your goal again. The more time, energy and effort you put into it, the more quickly and abundantly it will come to you.

4. Understand that if your current thoughts are not even close to what you desire, then you will have to Focus longer and stay Driven longer to realize what you Visualize. I firmly believe the more you WORK at it you will see progress, and hopefully that will fuel you to stay on the current path.

5. See yourself being helpful and beneficial to that person. See yourself being an asset in all phases of that person’s life. See yourself adding significance and value to that person’s life.
6. Please have the same character and morals you desire your mate to have. If you don’t have them, WORK on developing them now.

7. Lastly, remember it is YOUR VISION for the relationship that YOU WANT!!!
It is amazing to me that so many people will allow others to tell them or make them believe they can’t have the relationship they want. Something like, “that sounds good and all, but we know that’s not real”. Truth is, it is as real as you think and believe it to be. And the crazy part is, you only need ONE other potential mate to believe and want what you believe and want!!! Just one other person!!! Out of the hundreds or even thousands of people you can meet, you only need ONE.

Read, Recognize, And React!!!

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Break us to make us

repairblackloveIt is said that when someone has a bad habit or a bad trait that has become a problem, one has to break that habit or trait in order to create a new and better habit. This process of breaking sometime in order to fix it and make it better is not something new. It is said that when human bones break and are reset back in place, the bone actually grows back harder and stronger to help protect it from breaking again. The whole concept of muscle building is breaking down and tearing up the muscle so that the muscle repairs itself strong and thinker than before. A dear friend from college named Cynthia sent me a text that moved me to write this blog. In the text it stated the following: “I heard this this morning while watching TD Jakes: Some things break us to bless us and make us better. Every time Jesus broke the bread when He was feeding the 5000 with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread it multiplied and kept on Blessing. He does the same with us.”

At some point we have had our hearts broken. This is not done to make us scared to love again; it is to make our hearts stronger and our love deeper. It allows us to take a keener look into what we truly desire so we can meditate on those desires and make them manifest within us. When muscles breaks down and builds back up they are better than before, likewise, this is also how we should be in terms of broken hearts and broken feelings. But we must remember the fundamental key to making that which is broken even stronger and better is Healing.

Listen, if you broke a leg on a dining room table and you put it back together knowing it is fragile (not attached well), then you are going to be careful with that table. You will not put much weight on it and you will try not to let anyone near it.
However when you know that it was put back together properly and, in fact, is stronger and more secured than it was before, then you have no fear in letting anyone near it and put their weight on it. It is the same with our hearts.                                                        The question is did we take the time to let our hearts heal and become stronger like we would if we broke our leg? Or did we just put it back together with whatever we had available to us, now we will not let anyone near it because we know it might fall apart?

The physical Heart is often referred to as the “Heart Muscle,” and having it work correctly is critical to our good health and long living. The relationship “Heart” plays the same role as being essential to our relationship happiness and lasting feelings of love. Therefore when that Heart is broken, it is the equivalent of the physical Heart stopping. Nowadays thanks to the improvements in medicine, a person can have a heart attack and still go on to live a healthy and productive life. But often lifestyle changes need to be made that will bring the Heart back alignment with good health.

1. You must feed your relationship heart good healthy, life-giving, energy-giving love.
2. You must avoid putting your relationship heart under stress. No relationship will be stress-free but it’s not supposed to be stress-full.
3. You must exercise your relationship heart. You can’t sit around in fear and hurt, you must work toward achieving the goal you desire.
Remember: Just like the fish and loaves of bread, a heart that was broken can be a blessing to so many. A heart that was broken and still full of pain, hurt, and fear, can’t be a blessing even to itself.

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Identify Yourself

ID-10099058I have to make an admission!!! For a while in my life I tried to make my identity into something that would be pleasing to others. I tried to identify with the things that would make it easy for me to fit in. If nothing else,Identify I made sure that I didn’t do anything that would make me stand out in a bad way. I believe that our Identities are often tied up in what people and society thinks and the factors that exist because of it. We understand that being identified in the wrong way can be damaging to us and our reputation. Because of this reason, so many people identify with the cultural norms. We will claim we are our own person and that we stand out from the rest, but really we are pretty much like everyone else. We typically go to the same restaurants that everybody else goes to. We want the same type of material possessions that everybody else has. We often shop at the same stores everybody else shops. Likewise, this society can be very hard on people who are different, that’s why most people may think they stand out but they really don’t.

This is so prevalent in relationships nowadays that it is destroying the fabric of that bond. So many people want to be identified as being self-ambitious. We want people to see our drive, our work, our hustle. We want to be recognized and be considered “The MAN” (or “The WOMAN”) when we walk through.

We have to understand that very few people were put on this earth for this reason. But we were all given a purpose and I believe that purpose is tied to at least one other person.   God designed and fashioned us for relationships. In my opinion “self-anything” is an insult to God. Who are you in God’s eyes? Who am I in God’s eyes?!!!! It’s not about who you are, it is about who you touch!!! Relationships are not designed for just attending to all of your self-serving pleasures and delights. But society would tell you different. Society has us bending rules, changing laws, and creating new norms. Relationships are being affected more by what is being watched in our house, then what is being taught in God’s house. We are being influenced more by TV than TD!!! We are identifying with the wrong set of standards.

We were not put here to be alone. He did not put us here to just live for ourselves. YES I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN HURT!!! We have all been hurt by someone and if we keep living we will be hurt or disappointed by someone else in the future. REMEMBER: It may not have been your choice to have gotten hurt; but it is totally your choice to stay hurt!!!! I believe everybody has somebody that will love them!! The question is will you allow that person to love you? Could it be that your self-Identity is getting in the way?

We have too many people that are so self-aware of how beautiful they are on the outside. They are so self-aware of how appealing their bodies are. They are so self-aware of how much money they make. They are so self-aware of their status at their job, but those things only really matter on a societal level.

(Philippians 2:3-4)“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

If we identified ourselves with the Bible verse above, I truly believe we would have better and stronger relationships and we would attract better relationships in the future.

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Ask and it shall be given

askIn the last couple of blogs I talked about believing and not doubting and giving thanks even in failure. So it is only fitting that if you apply these two principals, you would feel assured in asking for the relationship you desire and receiving it. This is the juncture where you are ready to ask, knowing what it is you want and having full faith that it will come. Did not this line of thinking work for everything else in your life?

When you wanted that car you just had to possess because it was so “you”. You asked for it in faith, and it was given to you. When you were tired of the work you were doing and wanted a better job\career than the one you had. You asked for additional training (and some of you went back to school) to get the skills you needed to get a better job\career. When you were looking for a place to live and finally found a house you loved. There may have been some obstacles to getting the house, but you did what was needed and you got the house you asked for. By now you may be wondering where I am going with this; and to be honest, it only leads me to a question? If you can ask and then receive the car\job\house you wanted, why is it so hard for some to receive the mate you want?

Well if I had the answers to that question then I guess I would be a Millionaire!!! Well I believe I have one answer so hopefully the Millions are on the way!!!! First of all, it is safe to say that everybody reading this has asked for, and even prayed for, a suitable mate. The Good Book states “ask and it shall be given,” yet we still have not seen or met our mate. Or have we? Could it be that we have somehow missed out on our blessing? But if we asked for a significant other and we were waiting to receive them, then how could we have missed them? Well this is my answer to that question and I am sticking to it.

When we were kids and encountering our first loves, we were wide open to love and full of hope and optimism. Well after a couple of heartbreaks from failed relationships, we began to become jaded and guarded in regards to love. After even more unsavory experiences, we started to lose faith in the fairytale of love. Our child-like belief in love was gone and we started erecting the proverbial “Wall” to shelter us from the hurt and pain of love lost. After we felt we had exhausted all of the ways of finding and keeping love everlasting, we turn to the one source we know can deliver the love that seems so fleeting. Whether through heart-felt emotional prayers or vocal celestial summations, we call out to our source to send that special someone. Now of course our prayers were heard, but here is where the problem begins.

We ask God to send us someone, but before He can get started working, we go back and take it out of God’s hand. We want things to happen in our time, so we become impatient and begin working on it again ourselves. We are sometimes so impatient, we assume the first person we see after we pray is who God sent for us. We must understand God’s time is not our time, and every time we interrupt God’s work we often slow down or stop what God was planning. We all have the ideal plan of who and what our mate will be, but I truly believe that God’s plan is better!!! Believe that and don’t doubt it!!!!!

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Give thanks even in failure

ID-10092768When something fails it is never a good feeling. It could be something as simple as a plan not working out or someone not coming through for you on a favor. Because we are human, it triggers certain emotions in us when things fail that we wanted to see succeed. Nothing epitomizes this more than the emotions that occur when we have a relationship or a marriage that fails. The toll it can take on us mentally and emotionally can be devastating and can stay with us for quite a while. We can find ourselves carrying the scars of the botched relationship with us into new relationships which can put a strain (at best) on the health and well-being of that union. But sometimes our reactions to a failed relationship or marriage can be toxic to us and everyone involved. Our reactions can be very selfish, vindictive, hurtful, malicious, cruel, tactless, immoral, evil, wicked, sinful, nasty, and even violent. The reason that I am writing this is because I feel like these reactions (and ones like them) are the wrong way to handle the failure of a relationship or marriage.

Yes we will be hurt, disappointed, and upset about the collapse, but this should be the time we should give thanks for its failure. The Bible states “give thanks in all things”, this also includes failure!!! We have to understand that we have no idea what God could be protecting us from by allowing this relationship or marriage to end. God could be trying to protect us from Infidelity, pregnancy, abuse, and maybe even death!!! Often, however, our reaction is to be spiteful. Saying mean and destructive things about the other person and placing the blame on them for everything. In doing so, we are clearly not seeing this as a time to be thankful for what could have resulted in a much more painful relationship in so many ways. I truly believe by reacting like this we are “blocking our blessings” from God. Instead of thanking God for protecting us from harm, we are responding with anger, hostility, and bitterness toward the people we cared for. We must see these failures as tests and lessons that we need to pass in order to get the bigger and better blessings.

Responding negatively to these tests only holds us back from those blessings God wants us so much to have and experience. The true danger is when one starts to let the negative thoughts and feeling of unsuccessful relationships and marriage consume them. They start believing that “this is the way it is” and their faith in “better love” starts to wane and in some case even disappear. They start saying and believing that good “Men” or good “Women” are hard, if not impossible, to find. These feelings and beliefs can easily happen when we are focused on failure!!! Instead we should thank God for the impending success that we faithfully know he is preparing us for. The failures are the preparation, the test, and the lessons!!! But we have to pass the test and learn the lessons in order to get the blessings!!! It is said that most entrepreneurs fail several times before they become a success. They understand that failure doesn’t mean to quit or that they can’t achieve their goal. It just means that they have to work harder, smarter, learn from their mistakes and make better decisions!!!!

Remember: It’s not really about THEM, it’s really not even about YOU; it’s about God’s plan for us!!! When we learn to let go of our plan and let God work his plan; our relationship and marriage lives will be so much more gratifying, abundant, and fulfilling.

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9 things that people in successful relationships never do

ID-10066205I strongly believe that the same rules that apply in being successful in business are the same rules you can use to be successful in relationships. To that end I am going to take an article about success and business and show how it also applies to relationships and marriage. The name of the article is titled “9 things very successful people never do” by Jeff Haden. http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/9-things-remarkably-successful-people-never-do.html?cid=sf01001#ixzz3O6tIHXLW

 

1. They never let the past dictate their future.

So many people are not able to find lasting love in their life because they refuse to let things that happened in their past go. I do not know of anybody that has not gone through at least one bad relationship. But that experience should be used to help us grow, learn, and prepare for someone better. I agree that we must not forget our past so we will make sure not to repeat it, but you cannot let the past hold you hostage and in fear. Remember: scared love can’t make love

 

2. They never gossip.

Words cannot describe how important this is in a successful relationship or how quick it can destroy a successful relationship. People that have or desire good unions know that gossiping can not get them the beneficial associations that they seek. Just don’t do it!!!

 

3. They never say “yes” when they really mean “no.”

Compromise is an important element in a successful bond, but it cannot be confused with honesty. Being truthful about your needs and desires will only help you both out in the long run. A big part of success in anything is being able to stand up for what you believe in. So even in a relationship you have to stand up and be totally honest, and let the chips fall where they may.

 

4. They never interrupt.

We know that communication is vital; therefore listening is the key (more than anything) to true understand. It is also a show of respect and caring for the other person’s thoughts and concerns. They say in business that a great leader is a great listener. This is also the case in relationships.

 

5. They’re never late (without an incredibly good reason).

Why are we always on time for a job interview? Why are we on time for work? It is because it is important to us. It means a lot to us and our well being. For this same reason, being on time for dates and special events with your significant other should be important to you also. You want to do this to show them that every moment is precious and valued. What could be more important than the one thing you can never get back? YOUR TIME.

 

6. They never resent.

Showing resentment in a relationship is showing that you are still carrying baggage of hurt and pain over something you went through. People in flourishing relationships know that healing from past pain and hurt is the key to having the love they desire. Showing resentment toward someone will only block someone special from entering into your life.

 

7. They never decide they don’t have the time.

Time is really our most important resource.
How, where, and with whom we spend time tells what we cherish and covet. As the old say goes “you make time for what is important”. This is never truer than in relationships.

 

8. They never fit in (just to fit in).
In dating terms that would be the equivalent of being “fake”. Some people will even go to major extremes to act like someone they are not, to be loved. When your love for self is strong, the only person you want to be is YOU!!! And when YOU, are not good enough for whomever, it will never work out no matter how much you try to FIT IN.

 

9. They’re never afraid to do the things that matter.

Find out, by any means, what matters to you mate, and make those things happen!!!! This may be one of the most important reasons why you are in a successful relationship and others are not!!!!

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Get “Ripped”

black_love_lostSo, what is the first thing that comes to mind when we hear the phrase “get ripped”. Well for anybody that exercises or has tried to get in shape, you have heard this phrase quite a few times. For those that do not know what this term means I will break it down for you. Getting “ripped” is the process of exercising to a point that the cuts and symmetry of a person’s muscles are visible to the naked eye. The dictionary defines this term as “Having an extremely defined physique; toned: ripped, bulging muscles”.

Now I know we have all seen someone that was” Ripped”. Maybe you are currently in that state physically or were when you were younger. But the question that I have for you is, what does it mean to “get ripped” relationship wise? What steps would need to be taken to achieve this goal?

1. We all know that you can’t achieve any goal without knowing exactly what your goal is, and what it will look like when you accomplish it. In bodybuilding, there are many photos in magazines and on the internet of toned and fit men and women. But what does a toned and fit relationship look like? This must be the first goal because seeing what that looks like and knowing what it takes to attain this lets us know what we have to work toward. You must formulate a clear and defined picture of that healthy and loving relationship that you aspire to have. Most people find working out with a partner helps them to stay motivated and focus. Therefore I also believe it is a great idea relationship wise to have someone around to “work out” with. Someone that is in the type of relationship you want to have or that desires the same type of relationship you desire. This person can be very positive for you mentally and emotionally. Thus helping you to stay the course when you may get discouraged or when you run into negative people and influences.

2. Now it is time to work!!! The question is how much time and effort are we willing to put into get “relationship ripped”? Most people that exercise and has incorporated it into their daily routine, will work out at least 2-4 times a week or more. It is true that you only get out of something what you put into it. So if you want the relationship results you desire, you must spend time “exercising” your relationship muscles. Make the time in your daily or weekly routine to do stuff that will improve your chances of meeting, dating, and keeping someone special in your life. Use this time to work on known weaknesses and seek honest advice about areas where you can make improvements.

3. Anybody that exercises will tell you that your dietary habits may be even more important than how much you exercise. Your diet can literally kill any chance of you seeing the results you want to accomplish. The same can be said about your relationship diet!!! In relationship diet I am speaking of the things that you put in your body through your eyes and ears that pertain to relationships. Are the images and programming your watching showing you a positive relationship picture? Are the conversations you are having and music you are listening to speak of relationships in a loving and positive manner? If they are not, then you must change your diet to ingest information that will help your “relationship” body get toned, cut, and “ripped”. Now that you have the game plan, it now time to get “RELATIONSHIP RIPPED”!!!!!

Remember: You are what you eat!!! So go read my previous blog titled “you are what you eat”  

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Part 4: What does the Bible say about Relationships?

cropped-thL.jpgIn the last installment of this series I am going to end by putting emphases on Love and what God wants us to be for each other, and to each other in relationships. I leave you with these four passages from the Bible. Two are fairly long but I believe will be well worth reading.

Proverbs 31: 10-31

The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

 

Proverbs 5: 1-23

Warning Against Adultery

5 My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
incline your ear to my understanding,
that you may keep discretion,
and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden[a] woman drip honey,
and her speech[b] is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps follow the path to[c] Sheol;
she does not ponder the path of life;
her ways wander, and she does not know it.

And now, O sons, listen to me,
and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
and do not go near the door of her house,
lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless,
10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
11 and at the end of your life you groan,
when your flesh and body are consumed,
12 and you say, “How I hated discipline,
and my heart despised reproof!
13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
or incline my ear to my instructors.
14 I am at the brink of utter ruin
in the assembled congregation.”

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated[d] always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?[e]
21 For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders[f] all his paths.
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23 He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Oftentimes people claim to be in love with someone, or that someone is in love with them. This verse clearly defines with love is, and also what love is not!!! Please take a moment and measure your love, or someone’s love for you against these wonderful words of wisdom.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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Part 2: What does the Bible say about relationships?

ID-10083912As you may be able to tell as you read further, this blog is directed toward women in particular (but men will learn from this also). Don’t worry ladies; the next blog will be all about the men!!! In continuing with the theme of my last blog, I found some verses that I would like to share that the Bible proposes is the Godly temperament for a woman. Much has been discussed about the nature of meekness in a woman, or the lack thereof. Meekness is defined as “An attitude of humble, submissive and expectant trust in God, and a loving, patient and gentle attitude towards others.”Another example states “Biblical meekness is not weakness, but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness.”

1 Peter 3:3-5 – Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Timothy 2:9-10I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

From the website “Bible Counseling for Women in the Blog titled “Meekness vs Weakness”, the author states the following. “Meekness is often misunderstood as weakness. It is represented as being something women do not want to “be” because those who portray meekness do so poorly. A meek woman is actually very strong, and knows what she is about. She understands her position in Christ and her place in the Body.”

Could a woman actually be truly stronger by having a spirit of meekness? Could this be why their may be the appearance of strength, yet a lack of results?

Sometimes for a woman, being argumentative and forceful can be equated to being strong and powerful. In a relationship, however, these characteristics may not yield such a positive result.

Proverbs 21: 9 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21: 19 – Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

Could it be that God is not pleased with this type of temperament? Could this be a reason for break-ups and divorces? Could this thus make matters worse in the relationship or marriage? The author of “Meekness vs Weakness” goes on to say, “I find meekness to be lacking in many women these days. We seem to have become argumentative, spiteful, and vengeful. Many women are this way in the home and workplace and even in the church.”

The “Good” book goes on to further explain the hopes and expectations of women.

Titus 2: 3-5 – older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

And of course it has to be pointed out what God’s purpose and reason was when he created “Woman”.

Genesis 2: 18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now I could be wrong, but it appears that God is more concerned with what the woman looks like on the inside than on the outside. Therefore it is my belief, that the secret to a success relationship or marriage is developing, enhancing, and refining what is found within.

Remember: If you are beautiful on the inside, it will not only be visible and pleasing to God, but to man as well.

The website “Bible Counseling for Women in the Blog titled “Meekness vs Weakness” can be found at http://bc4women.blogspot.com/2011/04/meekness-or-weakness.html

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